Follies

YOUNG BUDDY: Hey, up there... YOUNG BEN: Way up there... BUDDY and YOUNG BUDDY: Whaddaya say, up there? (Ben. Sally and Phyllis join Buddy.) BUDDY: God, the four of us together back here. Hey. up there! Way up there! Whaddaya say, up there? I see it all. It's like a movie in my head that play and plays. It isn't just the bad things I remember It's the whole show. Waiting around for the girls upstairs: After the curtain came down. Money In my pocket to spend. "Honey, could you maybe get a friend for my friend!" BEN: Hearing the sound of the girls above Dressing to go on the town. BUDDY: Clicking heels on steel and cement, BEN: Picking up the giggles floating down through the vent, BOTH: Goddamnedest hours that I ever spent Were waiting for the girls Upstairs BUDDY: Hey, up there! BEN: Way up there! . BOTH: Whaddaya say, up there! BEN: That's where the keys hung and That's where you picked up your mail. BUDDY: I remember: Me and Ben. Me and Ben. We'd come around at ten. Me and Ben. And hang around the wings Watching things With what-the-hell-was-his-name. You know, the old guy? Max! I remember... Anyway, There we'd stay Until the curtain fell. And when the curtain tell. Then all hell broke: Girls on the run And scenery flying, Doors slamming left and right BEN: Girls in their un- Dies, blushing but trying Not to duck out of sight. BOTH: Girls by the hun- Dreds waving and crying. "See you tomorrow night!" Girls looking frazzled and girls looking great, Girls in a frenzy to get to a date, Girls like a madhouse and two of them late... And who had to wait? And wait... And wait... And wait... PHYLLIS: Waiting around for the boys downstairs, Stalling as long as we dare. Which dress from my wardrobe of two? (One of them was borrowed and the other was blue.) SALLY: Holding our ground for the boys below, Fussing around with our hair PHYLLIS: Giggling, wriggling out of our tights, SALLY: Chattering and clattering down all of those flights- BOTH: God, I'd forgotten there ever were nights Of waiting for the boys Downstairs. BUDDY: You up there! SALLY: Down in a minute! BEN: You two up there! PHYLLIS: Just keep your shirts on! BEN and BUDDY: Aren't you through up there? SALLY and PHYLLIS: Heard you the first time! (Their younger counterparts appear) BEN, YOUNG BEN, BUDDY, YOUNG BUDDY: SALLY, YOUNG SALLY, Look, are you coming or PHYLLIS, YOUNG PHYLLIS: Aren't you coming 'cause Coming. We're coming, will Look, if we're going, we You hold your horses, we're Gotta get going 'cause Coming. We're ready, be Look, they won't hold us There in a jiffy, we're A table at ringside all Coming. We're coming. All Night! Right! YOUNG SALLY: Hi... YOUNG BEN: Girls... YOUNG PHYLLIS: Ben... YOUNG BUDDY: Sally... YOUNG SALLY: Boy, we're beat. YOUNG BUDDY: You look neat. YOUNG PHYLLIS: We saw you in the wings. YOUNG BEN: How are things? YOUNG PHYLLIS: Did someone pass you in? YOUNG BUDDY: Slipped a fin To what-the-hell-is-his-name, You know, the doorman. YOUNG PHYLLIS: Al? YOUNG BUDDY: No. YOUNG SALLY: Big? YOUNG BEN: Fat. YOUNG PHYLLIS: Young! YOUNG BUDDY: Bald. YOUNG SALLY: Harry. YOUNG BEN: Yeah. YOUNG SALLY: Okey-doaks. YOUNG BUDDY: Come on, folks. YOUNG PHYLLIS: And where we gonna go? YOUNG BEN: A little joint I know- YOUNG SALLY: What? YOUNG BUDDY: Great new show there. YOUNG PHYLLIS: Hey, I thought you said tonight'd be Tony's-- YOUNG BUDDY: This joint is just as grand. YOUNG SALLY: We girls got dressed for dancing at Tony's-- YOUNG BEN: This joint is in demand. YOUNG SALLY and YOUNG PHYLLIS: Ta-ta, goodbye, you'll find us at Tony's-- YOUNG BUDDY and YOUNG BEN: Wait till you hear the band! YOUNG SALLY and YOUNG PHYLLIS: YOUNG BUDDY and YOUNG BEN You told us Tony's, That we'd go to Tony's. I told you Tony's? ALL GIRLS: Then Ben mentioned Tony's. I never said Tony's ALL MEN: Well, someone said Tony's. When's Ben mentioned Tony's? There's dancing at Tony's-- It's ritzy at Tony's-- All right, then, we'll go! All right, then, we'll go! (The young counterparts leave.) BUDDY: Waiting around for the girls upstairs, Weren't we chuckleheads then? BEN: Very young and very old hat-- Everybody has to go through stages like that. SALLY, PHYLLIS, BEN and BUDDY: Waiting around for the girls upstairs-- Thank you but never again. Life was fun but oh, so intense Everything was possible and nothing made sense Back there when one of the major events Was waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls. Waiting for the girls. Waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls Upstairs. 5.RAIN ON THE ROOF EMILY and THEODORE WHITMAN: Listen to the rain on the roof go EMILY: Pit-pitty-pat-- THEODORE WHITMAN: Pit-pitty-pat-- EMILY and THEODORE WHITMAN: Pitty-- Sit, kitty cat, We won't get home for hours. Relax and Listen to the rain on the roof go EMILY: Plunk-planka-plink- THEODORE WHITMAN: Plunk-planka-plink- EMILY and THEODORE WHITMAN: Planka- Let's have a drink And shelter from the showers. Rain, rain, don't go away, Fill up the sky. Rain through the night. We'll stay Cozy and dry. Listen to the rain on the roof go Pit-pitty-pat- (They kiss.) Plunk-a-plink- (kiss) Plank- (kiss) Pity that It's not a hurricane. Listen "plink" to the (kiss kiss) Lovely rain. 6.AH, PAREE! SOLANGE: New York has neon, Berlin has bars, But ah! Paree! Shanghai has silk and Madrid guitars. But ah! Paree!In Cairo you find bizarre bazaars. In London "pip! pip!" you sip tea. But when it comes to love. None of the above Compares, compris? So if it's making love That rou're thinking of, Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Paree! I have seen the ruins of Rome, I've been in the igloos of Nome. I have gone to Moscow. it's very gay-- Well, anyway. On the first of May. I have seen Rangoon and Soho, And I like them more than so-so. But when there's a moon. Goodbye, Rangoon-- Hello. Montmartre, hello! Peking has rickshaws, New Orleans jazz. But ah! Paree! Beirut has sunshine -- that's all it has, But ah! Paree! Constantinople has Turkish baths And Athens that lovely debris. Carlsbad may have a spa. But for ooh-la-la, You come with me! Carlsbad is where you're cured After you have toured Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Paree! 7.BROADWAY BABY HATTIE: I'm just a Broadway Baby. Walking off my tired feet. Pounding Forty-Second Street To be in a show. Oh... Broadway Baby, Learning how to sing and dance, Waiting for that one big chance To be in a show.Oh...Gee.' I'd like to be On some marquee, All twinkling lights, A spark To pierce the dark From Battery Park To Washington Heights. Someday, maybe, All my dreams will be repaid. Heck, I'd even play the maid To bc in a show. Hey, Mr. Producer, I'm talking to you, sir; I don't need a lot, Only what I got, Plus a tube of greasepaint And a follow-spot! I'm a Broadway Baby, Slaving at the five-and-ten, Dreaming of the great day whcn I'll be in a show.Oh... Broadway Baby, Making rounds all afternoon, Eating at a greasy spoon To have on my dough. Oh...AtMy tiny flat There's just my cat. A bed and o chair Still I'll stick it till I'm on a bill All over Times Square. Someday, maybe, If I stick it long enough, I may get to strut my stuff Working for a nice man Like a Ziegfeld or a Weismann HATTIE, THE WHITMANS, SOLANGE: In a great big Broadway show! 8.THE ROAD YOU DIDN'T TAKE BEN: You're either a poet Or you're a lover Or you're the famous Benjamin Stone. You take one road, You try one door, There isn't time for any more. One's life consists of either/or. One has regrets Which one forgets, And as the years go on. The road you didn't take Hardly comes to mind, Does it? The door you didn't try, Where could it have led? The choice you didn't make Never was defined. Was it! Dreams you didn't dare Are dead. Were they ever there? Who said! I don't remember, I don't remember At all. The books I'll never read Wouldn't change a thing, Would they? The girls I'll never know I'm too tired for. The lives I'll never lead Couldn't make me sing. Could they? Could they? Could they? Chances that you miss. Ignore. Ignorance is bliss-- What's more, You won't remember, You won't remember At all, Not at all.You yearn for the women, Long for the money, Envy the famous Benjamin Stones. You take your road, The decades fly, The yearnings fade, the longings die. You learn to bid them all goodbye. And oh, the peace, The blessed peace... At last you come to know: The roads you never take Go through rocky ground, Don't they? The choices that you make Aren't all that grim. The worlds you never see Still will be around, Won't they! The Ben I'll never be, Who remembers him? 9.IN BUDDY'S EYES SALLY: Life is slow but it seems exciting 'Cause Buddy's there. Gourmet cooking and letter-writing And knowing Buddy's there. Every morning--don't faint-- I tend the flowers. Can you believe it? Every weekend I paint For umpteen hours. And yes, I miss a lot Living like a shut-in. No, I haven't got Cooks and cart and diamonds. Yes, my clothes are not Paris fashions, but in Buddy's eyes I'm young, I'm beautiful. In Buddy's eyes I don't get older. So life is ducky And time goes flying And I'm so lucky I feel like crying, And...In Buddy's eyes I'm young, I'm beautiful. In Buddy's eyes I can't get older. I'm still the princess, Still the prize. In Buddy's eyes I'm young, I'm beautiful. In Buddy's arms, On Buddy's shoulder I won't Bet older. Nothing dies. And all I ever dreamed I'd be, The best I ever thought of me, Is every minute there to see In Buddy's eyes. 10.WHO'S THAT WOMAN? STELLA: (As the other women gather around her.) Who's that woman? I know her well, All decked out head to toe. She lives life like a carousel: Beau after beau after beau. Nightly, daily, Always laughing gaily, Seems I see her everywhere I go. Oh-- Who's that woman? I know I know that woman, So clever, but ever so sad. Love, she said, was a fad. The kind of love that she couldn't make fun of She'd have none of. Who's that woman. That cheery, weary woman Who's dressing for yet one more spree? Each day I see her pass In my looking-glass-- Lord, Lord, Lord, that woman is me! SALLY, PHYLLIS, HATTIE, EMILY, SOLANGE:Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who's the saddest gal in town? Who's been riding for a fall? Whose Lothario let her down? Mirror, mirror, answer me: Who is she who plays the clown? Is she out each night till three? Does she laugh with too much glee? On reflection, she'd agree. Mirror, mirror, Mirror, mirror, Mirror; mirror... (The women begin their old routine; their younger selves take over.) STELLA: WOMEN and GIRLS: Who's that woman? Mirror, mirror, I mean I've seen that woman on the wall, Who's joking but choking Who's the saddest gal in town? Back tears. All those glittering years Who's been riding for a fall? She thought that Love was o matter of "Hi, there!" Love was a matter of "Hi, there!" "Kiss me!" "'Bye, there!" "Kiss me!" "Bye, there!" Who's that woman, Mirror, mirror, That cheery, weary woman, answer me. Who's dressing for yet one Who is she who plays the more spree? Clown? The vision's getting blurred. Isn't that absurd? Lord. lord. Lord! Lord, Lord, lord! Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord! That woman is me. Mirror, mirror! That woman is me. Mirror, mirror! That woman is me! Mirror, mirror! Mirror! 11.I'M STILL HERE CARLOTTA: Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear, I'm still here. Plush velvet sometimes, Sometimes just pretzels and beer, But I'm here. I've stuffed the dailies In my shoes. Strummed ukuleles, Sung the blues, Seen all my dreams disappear, But I'm here. I've slept in shanties, Guest of the W.P.A., But I'm here. Danced in my scanties, Three bucks a night was the pay, But I'm here. I've stood on bread lines With the best, Watched while the headlines Did the rest. In the Depression was I depressed? Nowhere near. I met a big financier And I'm here. I've been through Gandhi, Windsor and Wally's affair, And I'm here. Amos 'n' Andy, Mah-jongg and platinum hair, And I'm here. I got through Abie's Irish Rose, Five Dionne babies, Major Bowes, Had heebie-jeebies For Beebe's Bathysphere. I lived through Brenda Frazier And I'm here. I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover, Gee, that was fun and a half. When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover, Anything else is a laugh. I've been through Reno. I've been through Beverly Hills, And I'm here. Reefers and vino, Rest cures, religion and pills, And I'm here Been called a pinko Commie tool, Got through it stinko By my pool. I should have gone to an acting school. That seems clear, Still, someone said, "She's sincere," So I'm here. Black sable one day. Next day it goes into hock, But I'm here. Top billing Monday, Tuesday you're touring in stock, But I'm here. First you're another Sloe-eyed vamp, Then someone's mother, Then you're camp. Then you career from career To career. I'm almost through my memoirs. And I'm here. I've gotten through "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis? Wow! What a looker you were." Or, better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis. Whatever happened to her?" Good times and bum times, I've seen 'em all and, my dear, I'm still here. Flush velvet sometimes, Sometimes just pretzels and beer, But I'm here. I've run the gamut. A to Z. Three cheers and dammit, C'est la vie. I got through all of last year And I'm here. Lord knows, at least I was there, And I'm here! Look who's here! I'm still here! 12.TOO MANY MORNINGS BEN: Too many mornings Waking and pretending I reach for you, Thousands of mornings Dreaming of my girl. All that time wasted, Merely passing through, Time I could have spent So content Wasting time with you. Too many mornings Wishing that the room might be filled with you. Morning to morning, Turning into days. All the days that I thought would never end, All the nights with another day to spend. All those times I'd look up to see Sally standing at the door Sally moving to the bed, Sally resting in my arms With her head against my head. SALLY: If you don't kiss me, Ben, I think I'm going to die. How I planned: What I'd wear tonight and When should I get here, How should I find you, Where I'd stand, What I'd say in case you didn't remember. How I'd remind you-- You remembered. And my fears were wrong! Was it ever real? Did I ever love you this much? Did we ever feel So happy then? BEN: It was always real SALLY: I should have worn green. And I've always loved you this much. I wore green the last time. We can always feel The time I this happy... was happy... BOTH: Too many mornings Wasted in pretending I reach for you. How many mornings Are there still to come! How much time can we hope that there will be? Not much time, but it's time enough for me. If there's time to look up and be/see Sally standing at the door, Sally moving to the bed, Sally resting in your/my arms, With your head against my head. 13.THE RIGHT GIRL BUDDY: The right girl--yeah! The right girl, She makes you feel like a million bucks Instead of-what? --like a rented tux. The right girl-yeah! The right girl, She's with you, no matter how you feel, You're not the good guy, you're not the heel. You're not the dreamboat that sank-you're real When you got-yeah! The right girl-yeah! And I got-- Hey, Margie, I'm back, babe. Come help me unpack, babe. Hey, Margie, hey, bright girl, I'm home. What's new, babe? You miss me? You smell good, come kiss me. Hey, Margie, you wanna go dancing! I'm home. Des Moines was rotten and the deal fell through. I pushed, babe. I'm bushed, babe. I needed you to tell my troubles to-- The heck, babe-- Let's neck, babe. Hey, Margie. You wanna go dancing? You wanna go driving? Or something? Okay, babe. Whatever you say, babe-- You wanna stay home! You wanna stay home! Hey, Margie. It's day, babe. My flight goes--no, stay, babe, You know how you cry, babe-- Stay home. Be good now, we'll speak, babe, It might be next week, babe-- Hey, Margie--goodbye, babe-- I gotta go home. The right girl--yeah! The right girl--yeah! She sees you're nothing and thinks you're king, She knows you've got other songs to sing. You still could be-hell, well, anything When you got--yeah! The right girl-yeah! And I got... Hey, Margie, I'm back, babe. Come help me unpack, babe. Hey, Margie, hey, bright girl, I'm home. You miss me? I knew it. Hey, Margie, I blew it-- I don't love the right girl. Ah. hell... 14.ONE MORE KISS HEIDI: One more kiss before we part, One more kiss and--farewell, Never shall we meet again, Just a kiss and then We break the spell. (Her younger counterpart appears.) One more kiss to melt the heart, One more glimpse of the past. HEIDI and YOUNG HEIDI: One more souvenir of bliss Knowing well that this One must be the last. Dreamt are a sweet mistake. All dreamers must awake. YOUNG HEIDI: On, then, with the dance, No backward glance Or my heart will break. Never look back. HEIDI: Never look back. YOUNG HEIDI: One more kiss before we part. Ah...ah... Not with tears or a sigh. All things beautiful must die. All things beautiful must die. Now that our love is done, Lover, give me... BOTH: ...One More kiss and-goodbye. 15.COULD I LEAVE YOU? PHYLLIS: Leave you? Leave you? How could I leave you? How could I go it alone? Could I wave the years away With a quick goodbye? How do you wipe tears away When your eyes are dry? Sweetheart, lover, Could I recover, Give up the joys I have known? Not to fetch your pills again Every day at five, Not to give those dinners for ten Elderly men From the U.N.-- How could I survive? Could I leave you And your shelves of the World's Best Books And the evenings of martyred looks, Cryptic sighs, Sullen glares from those injured eyes? Leave the quips with a sting, jokes with a sneer, Passionless lovemaking once a year? Leave the lies ill-concealed And the wounds never healed And the games not worth winning And-wait, I'm just beginning! What, leave you, leave you, How could I leave you? What would I do on my own? Putting thoughts of you aside In the south of France, Would I think of suicide? Darling, shall we dance? Could I live through the pain On a terrace in Spain? Would it pass? It would pass. Could I bury my rage With a boy half your age In the grass? Bet your ass. But I've done that already--or didn't you know, love? Tell me, how could I leave when I left long ago, love? Could I leave you? No, the point is, could you leave me? Well, I guess you could leave me the house, Leave me the flat, Leave me the Braques and Chagalls and all that. You could leave me the stocks for sentiment's sake And ninety percent of the money you make. And the rugs And the cooks-- Darling, you keep the drugs. Angel, you keep the books, Honey, I'll take the grand, Sugar you keep the spinet And all of our friends and-- Just wait a goddam minute! Oh, leave you? Leave you? How could I leave you? Sweetheart, I have to confess: Could I leave you? Yes. Will I leave you? Will I leave you? Guess! 16.LOVELAND ENSEMBLE: Time stops, hearts are young, Only serenades are sung In Loveland, Where everybody lives co love. Raindrops never rain, Every road is Lovers' Lane In Loveland, Where everybody loves to live. See that sunny sun and honeymoon, There where seven hundred days hath June. Sweetheart, take my hand, Let us find that wondrous land Called Loveland, Loveland, Loveland... FIRST CAVALIER: The lover is transported by his rapture, As ever heavenwards his heart ascends. CHORUS: Loveland, where everybody lives to love. SECOND CAVALIER: The lover's heart contains a lover's secret. Which only the beloved comprehends. CHORUS: Loveland, where everybody loves to live. THIRD CAVALIER: To lover's eyes, a lover's eyes are jewels, More radiant than the stars that light the sky. CHORUS: Loveland, Loveland... FOURTH CAVALIER: Two lovers in devotion, If separated, they must swoon and die. CHORUS: Loveland, Loveland... Bells ring, fountains splash, Folks use kisses 'stead of cash In Loveland. Loveland... Love, Love, Loveland... Love, Love, Loveland... Love! 17.YOU'RE GONNA LOVE TOMORROW LOVE WILL SEE US THROUGH YOUNG BEN: "What will tomorrow bring?" The pundits query. YOUNG PHYLLIS: Will it be cheery! Will It be sad! Will it be birds in spring Or hara-kiri? Don't worry, dearie. Don't worry, lad. I'll have our future suit your whim, Blue chip preferred. Putting it in a synonym, BOTH: Prefect's the word. - We're in this thing together, Aren'tcha glad! Each day from now will be The best day you ever had. YOUNG BEN: You're gonna love tomorrow. Mm-hm. You're gonna be with me. Mm-hm. You're gonna love tomorrow, I'm giving you my personal guarantee. Say toodle-oo to sorrow Mm-hm. And fare thee well, ennui. Bye-bye You're gonna love tomorrow As long as your tomorrow is BOTH: spent with me. Today was perfectly perfect. You say. Well, don't go away, 'Cause if you think you liked today. You're gonna lore tomorrow. Mm-hm. You stick around and see. Mm-hm. And if you love tomorrow. Then think of how it's gonna be: Tomorrow's what you're gonna have a lifetime of With me! YOUNG BUDDY: Sally, dear, Now that we're Man and wife, I will do Wonders to Make your life Soul-stirring And free of care. YOUNG SALLY: If we fight (And we might), I'll concede. Furthermore, Dear, should your Ego need Bolstering. I'll do my share. But though I'll do my utmost To see you never frown, And though I'll try to cut most Of our expenses down. I've some traits, I warn you, To which you'll have objections. I, too, have a cornu- Copia of imperfections. I may burn the toast. Oh, well, I may make a rotten host. BOTH: Do tell. But no matter what goes wrong. Love will see us through Till something better comes along. YOUNG BUDDY: I may vex your folks. Okay I may interrupt your jokes. You may. BOTH: But if I come on too strong, Love will see us through Till something better comes along. YOUNG BUDDY: I may play cards all night And come home at three. Just leave a light BOTH: On the porch for me. Well, nobody's perfect YOUNG BUDDY: I may trump your ace. Please do. I may clutter up the place. BOTH: Me, too. But the minute we embrace To love's old sweet song, Dear that will see us through Till something better comes along. YOUNG BEN: Hi. Girls. YOUNG PHYLLIS: YOUNG BUDDY: Ben. Sally. YOUNG SALLY: I may burn the toast, etc. YOUNG BEN: You're gonna love tomorrow. etc. YOUNG BUDDY: Oh, well, I may make a rotten host. etc. YOUNG PHYLLIS: Mm-hm. Mm-hm, etc. YOUNG SALLY YOUNG PHYLLIS and YOUNG BUDDY: and YOUNG BEN: But the minute we embrace And if you love tomorrow. To love's old sweet song, Then think of how it's gonna be. Dear, that will see us through Tomorrow's what you're Till something, gonna have, Love will keep us true And Monday's what you're Till something, gonna have, Love will help us hew And April's what you're To something, gonna have, Love will have to do And love is what you're Till something, gonna have, Better comes A lifetime of Along! With me! 18.BUDDY'S BLUES BUDDY: Hello, folks, we're into the Follies! First, though, folks, we'll pause for a mo'. No, no, folks, you'll still get your jollies-- It's just I got a problem that I think you should know. See, I've been very perturbed of late, very upset, Very betwixt and between. The things that I want, I don't seem to get. The things that I get--you know what I mean! I've got those "God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later" Blues, That "Long-as-you-ignore-me-you're-the-only-thing-that-matters" Feelin, That "If-I'm-good-enough-for-you-you're-not-good-enough" and, "Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what's-wrong-with-It?" Stuff, Those "Don't-come-any-closer-'cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you" Feelings, Those "Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-I-gotta-run-now" Blues. Margie... Margie... Margie... Margie. She says she really love: me. "MARGIE": I love him- BUDDY: -she says. She says she really cares. "MARGIE": I care, I Care. BUDDY: She says that I'm her hero. "MARGIE": He's my hero- BUDDY: -she says. I'm perfect, she swears. "MARGIE": You're perfect, goddamit. BUDDY: She says that if we parted- "MARGIE": If we parted- BUDDY: -she says. She says that she'd be sick. "MARGIE": Oh, God, I'm sick. BUDDY: She says she's mine forever- "MARGIE": Forever- BUDDY: -she says. I gotta get outta here quick! I've got those "Whisper-how-I'm-better-than-I-think-but-what-do-you-know?" Blues, That "Why-do-you-keep-telling-me-I-stink-when-I-adore-you?" Feeling. That "Say-I'm-all-the-world-to-you-you're-out-of-your-mind- I-know-there's-someone-else-and-I-could-kiss-you-behind," Those "You-say-I'm-terrific-but-your-taste-was-always-rotten" Feelings, Those "Go-away-I-need-you," "Come-to-me-I'll-kill-you," "Darling-I'll-do-anything-to-keep-you-with-me-till-you- Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-now-beat-it-will-you?" Blues! Sally... Sally...Sally...Sally. She says she loves another- "SALLY": Another- BUDDY: -she says, A fella she prefers. "SALLY": Furs. Furs. BUDDY: She says that he's her idol. "SALLY": Idolidolidolidol- BUDDY: -she says. Ideal, she avers. "SALLY": You deal..."Avers"!! BUDDY: She says that anybody- "SALLY": Buddy-bleah!- BUDDY: -she says, Would suit her more than I. "SALLY": Aye, aye, aye. BUDDY: She says that I'm a washout- "SALLY": You're a washout- BUDDY: -she says. I love her so much, I could die! "SALLY": Ooh. Ooh. Ah! Ah! BUDDY: Oh! I've got those "God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later" Blues- "GIRLS": Bla-bla-blues-! BUDDY: That "Long-as-you-ignore-me-you're-the-only-thing-that-matters" Feeling- "GIRLS": Feeling-! BUDDY: That "If-I'm-good-enough-for-you-you're-not-good-enough"- "GIRLS": Woo-! BUDDY: And "Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what's-wrong-with-it?" stuff- "GIRLS": Ooh-! BUDDY: Those "Don't-come-any-closer-'cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you" Feelings. "GIRLS": Bla-bla-blues-! BUDDY: Those "If-you-will-then-I-can't, If-you-don't-then-I-gotta, Give-it-to-me-I-don't-want-it. If-you-won't-I-gotta-have-it, High-low-wrong-right- Yes-no-black-white. God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later" Blues! 19.LOSING MY MIND SALLY: The sun comes up, I chink about you. The coffee cup, I think about you. I want you so, It's like I'm losing my mind. The morning ends, I think about you. I talk to friends, I think about you. And do they know? It's like I'm losing my mind. All afternoon, Doing every little chore, The thought of you stays bright. Sometimes I stand In the middle of the floor, Not going left, Not going right. I dim the lights And think about you, Spend sleepless nights To think about you. You said you loved me, Or were you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind? I want you so, It's like I'm losing my mind. Does no one know? It's like I'm losing my mind. All afternoon, Doing every little chore, The thought of you stays bright. Sometimes I stand In the middle of the floor, Not going left, Not going right. I dim the lights And think about you, Spend sleepless nights To think about you. You said you loved me, Or were you just being kind! Or am I losing my mind? 20.THE STORY OF LUCY AND JESSIE PHYLLIS: Here's a little story that should make you cry, About two unhappy dames. Let us call them Lucy "X" and Jessie "Y", Which are not their real names. Now Lucy has the purity Along with the unsurety That comes with being only twenty-one. Jessie has maturity And plenty of security. Whatever you can do with them she's done. Given their advantages, You may ask why The two ladies have such grief This is my belief, In brief: Lucy is juicy But terribly drab. Jessie is dressy But cold as a slab. Lucy wants to be dressy. Jessie wants to be juicy. Lucy wants to be Jessie And Jessie Lucy. You see, Jessie is racy But hard as a rock. Lucy is lacy But dull as a smock. Jessie wants to be lacy, Lucy wants to be Jessie. That's the sorrowful précis. It's very messy. Poor sad souls, Itching to be switching roles. Lucy wants to do what Jessie does, Jessie want: to be what Lucy was. CHORUS: Now if you see Lucy "X," Youthful, truthful Lucy "X," Let her know she's better than she suspects. Now if you see Jessie "Y," Faded, jaded Jessie "Y" Tell her that she's sweller than apple pie. Juicy Lucy. Dressy Jessie. Juicy Lucy, Dressy Jessie... PHYLLIS: Lucy's a lassie You pat on the head. Jessie is classy But virtually dead. Lucy wants to be classy. Jessie wants to be Lassie. If Lucy and Jessie could only combine, I could tell you someone Who would finally feel just fine! CHORUS: Juicy Lucy... PHYLLIS: Just fine! CHORUS: Dressy Jessie... PHYLLIS: Just fine! CHORUS: Juicy Lucy... PHYLLIS: Just fine! CHORUS: Dressy Jessie... ALL: Tell 'em that they ought to get together quick, 'Cause getting it together is the whole trick! PHYLLIS: Yeah! 21.LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE CHORUS: Here he comes. Mister Whiz. Sound the drums, Here he is. Raconteur, Bon vivant. Tell us, sir, What we want To know: The modus operandi A dandy Should use When he is feeling low. BEN: When the winds are blowing. CHORUS: Yes! BEN: That's the time to smile. CHORUS: Oh! BEN: Learn how to laugh. Learn how to love. Learn how to live. That's my style. When the rent is owing, CHORUS: Yes! BEN: What's the use of tears! CHORUS: Oh! BEN: I'd rather laugh, I'd rather love. I'd rather live In arrears. Some fellows sweat To get to be millionaires, Some have a sport They're devotees of, Some like to be the champs At saving postage stomps. Me, I like to live. Me, I like to laugh, Me, I like to love. Some like to sink And think in their easy chairs Of all the things They've risen above. Some like to be profound By reading Proust and Pound. Me. I like to live. Me. I like to laugh, Me, I like to love. Success is swell And success is sweet, But every height has a drop. The less achievement, The less defeat. What's the point of shovin' Your way to the top? Live 'n' laugh 'n' love 'n' You're never a flop. So when the walls are crumbling, CHORUS: Yes! BEN: Don't give up the ship. CHORUS: No. BEN: Learn how to laugh, Learn how to love. Learn how to live. That's my tip. When I hear the rumbling, CHORUS: Yes! BEN: Do I lose my trip! CHORUS: No! BEN: I have to laugh, I have to love. I have to live. That's my trip. ALL: When the wind is blowing, That's the time to smile. When the rent is owing, Never lose your style. BEN: Some get a boot From shooting off cablegrams Or buzzing bells To summon the staff. Some climbers get their kicks From social politics. Me, I like to live. Me. I like to love... (He momentarily forgets his lyric.) Some break their asses Passing their bar exams. Lay out their lives like lines on a graph... One day they're diplomats- Well, bully and congrats! Me, I like to live, Me, I like to love... (He goes blank again.) Me, I like-me, I love-me. I don't love me! (Ben begins to rove.) CHORUS: Success is well And success is sweet, But every height has a drop. The less achievement, The less defeat. What's the point of shovin' Your war to the top! (The company sings bits of songs heard previously. Everything we've seen and heard all evening is going on at once, as if the night's experience were being vomited. Ghosts, memories and party guests--all there. The cacophony is terrible, and we can barely hear Ben as he races from one group to another screaming into the chaos.) CHORUS: Now, if you see Lucy "X," Youthful, truthful Lucy "X," Let her know she's better than she suspects. Now if you see Jessie "Y," etc. BEN: Phyllis! 22.FINALE YOUNG BUDDY: Hey. up there! YOUNG BEN: Way up there! BOTH: Whaddaya say. up there! YOUNG SALLY: Hi... YOUNG BEN: Girls... YOUNG PHYLLIS: Ben... YOUNG BUDDY: Sally... BUDDY: Waiting around for the girls upstairs After the curtain came down. BEN: Money in my pocket to spend. BOTH: "Honey, could you maybe get a friend for my friend?" SALLY: Holding our ground for the boys below, Fussing around with our hair. PHYLLIS: Giggling, wriggling out of our tights, BOTH: Chattering and clattering down all of those flights- ALL FOUR: God, I'd forgotten there ever were nights Of waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls, Waiting for the girls Upstairs. COMPANY: Hats off, Here's the home of Beautiful girls, Where your Reason is undone. Beauty Can't be hindered From taking its toll. You may lose control. Faced with these Loreleis. What man con moralize! Caution, On your guard with Beautiful girls. Flawless charmers Every one. This is how Samson was shorn; Each in her style a Delilah Reborn, Each a gem. A beautiful diadem Of beautiful--welcome them-- ROSCOE: These beautiful COMPANY: Girls!