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Guys and Dolls

Short Synopsis (lyrics follow)

Nathan Detroit must win a bet from slick high roller Sky Masterson or Nathan's Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game will be forced to fold. Nathan bets that Sky will not be able to take starchy Mission doll Sarah to Havana with him. Sarah finds the rakish Sky very resistible at first, but eventually melts and accompanies him to Cuba, while Nathan almost loses his fiancee of 14 years, the psychosomatic showgirl Miss Adelaide. In the end, the Dolls get the Guys and all ends merrily.

The Story:

 Act One

Scene One: After the overture, the curtain rises on a bustling street scene alive with Times Square characters: sightseeing tourists and their guide; teenaged girls in bobby socks carrying autograph books; street vendors selling apples and flowers from a tray; a heavyweight prize-fighter with his manager; assorted street hustlers and pickpockets; and policemen (Runyonland"). Three gamblers, Benny Southstreet, Nicely-Nicely Johnson and Rusty Charlie, enter, reading aloud the daily horse-race scratch sheet. They trade tips about different horses ("Fugue for Tinhorns").

As the gamblers finish their pitch, Sergeant Sarah Brown and the Mission Band enter playing a hymn ("Follow the Fold"). Sarah delivers a street-corner sermon on the evils of gambling, inviting all sinners to visit the Save-A-Soul Mission and repent before it's too late. Nicely-Nicely and Benny observe that Sarah is wasting her good looks on Mission work. They are joined by Harry the Horse, another gambler. He asks if a location has been found for the floating crap game run by Nathan Detroit. Nathan has had trouble finding locations for his crap game because of increased pressure from the police, particularly Lieutenant Brannigan. Brannigan appears, also looking for Nathan, who soon enters. After Brannigan leaves, Nathan mentions he needs $1,000 to secure Joey Biltmore's garage for the game. Nathan is so broke he doesn't even have money to buy an engagement anniversary present for Miss Adelaide, his fiancée of 14 years. Adelaide, a performer at the Hot Box Club, doesn't approve of Nathan's gambling activities. Nathan, Benny and Nicely sing about their frustration at possibly losing a chance to make lots of money from the game ("The Oldest Established").

Angie the Ox, another gambler, mentions Sky Masterson is in town and could surely supply the money needed for the garage. Nathan knows Sky will bet on almost anything and he comes up with a way to trick Sky out of the needed funds. He sends Benny to Mindy's restaurant to find out how much strudel and cheesecake were sold the previous day. Adelaide (who seems to have a perpetual cold) enters with three other women from the club and gives Nathan his anniversary present just as Benny returns with the numbers on the strudel and cheesecake. Sky enters, and Nathan tells Benny and Nicely to take Adelaide to a drugstore for cold medicine. Nathan proposes a $1,000 bet to Sky about which sells more at Mindy's: strudel or cheesecake. Sky, suspecting the bet is not on the level, won't take Nathan up on it. Nicely and Benny return and tell him Adelaide expects Nathan to pick her up after the show. Sky, a confirmed bachelor, suggests Adelaide has trapped Nathan. When Nathan asks why Sky is traveling to Havana alone, Sky says he could get any woman he chooses to go with him. Nathan bets Sky $1,000 that Nathan can pick a woman that Sky can't convince to go. Sky accepts. Nathan points to Sarah Brown as the Mission Band passes by.

Scene Two: The Mission Band enters the Save-A-Soul Mission after a night of preaching on Broadway. Sky enters and presents himself as a gambler eager for redemption. When Sarah offers him pamphlets, he suggests she give him personal help over dinner. She declines the offer. Sky impresses Sarah with his knowledge of the Bible, gleaned from years of living in hotels with the Gideon Bible close at hand. Noting the absence of sinners in the Mission, Sky proposes a trade: he will give Sarah his marker, an IOU guaranteeing to fill the Mission with twelve sinners, if Sarah agrees to have dinner with him in his favorite restaurant, which happens to be in Havana. She indignantly throws the marker in the trash and asks him to leave. Sky accuses Sarah of hating men, a charge she denies. Sky asks her to describe the man of her dreams. She tells him she'll know when the right man comes around ("I'll Know"). Sky tells her he, too, will know when the right woman comes along. Their song ends in a kiss. The mood is broken immediately as Sarah slaps Sky.

Scene Three: Nathan phones Joey Biltmore to tell him the $1,000 for the garage is all but guaranteed. Joey reminds him the money is due in advance.

Scene Four: At the Hot Box, Adelaide and the chorus girls perform a musical number ("A Bushel and a Peck"). After the show, she tells Nathan she is getting a raise and suggests they finally get married. She shows him the wedding veil she has had for the past three years. She also explains she has told her mother that Nathan and she are married and have five children. As Nathan offers reasons why they shouldn't get married, one of the other dancers arrives and complains to Nathan her date has been cancelled because of his crap game. Adelaide gets one of her chronic sneezing attacks as Nathan rushes off. She picks up a medical book which explains her cold symptoms are psychosomatic and caused by her frustration at being engaged (not married!) for 14 years ("Adelaide's Lament").

Scene Five: Benny and Nicely have been watching Sky follow Sarah and the Mission Band. They hope Sky fails in his attempts to take her to Havana so Nathan will get the cash to hold the crap game. They observe that men the world over have a weakness for falling in love ("Guys and Dolls").

Scene Six: Sarah and the Band return to the Mission. Arvide Abernathy, Sarah's grandfather and the bass drum player of the band, encourages her to pay some attention to Sky. General Cartwright, the head of the Save-A-Soul Mission, arrives and explains that the Broadway Mission's poor performance in attracting sinners is forcing her to close the branch. Sky appears and protests the closing of the Mission. He also retrieves his marker from the trash and gives it back to Sarah. She then guarantees the General there will be twelve sinners in the Mission the following evening.

Scene Seven: All the craps shooters, including Big Jule (a very tough gun-toting gangster from Chicago) are wearing red carnations as they're the badge of entry for the game, which still has no location. Brannigan appears and, noticing all the red carnations, asks Nathan what is going on. Benny sees Adelaide coming over with some of the other Hot Box dancers and tells Brannigan the carnations are for the guests of Nathan's bachelor party. Adelaide hears this and excitedly announces they should get married the following night after her show. As Adelaide rushes off with her girlfriends, Nathan tells Benny he still has not received the money from Sky. Benny wonders if Sky actually took Sarah to Havana.

Scene Eight: Sarah and Sky are in Havana. Faced with constantly blaring mambo music and dancing couples ("Havana"), Sky and Sarah escape the noisy nightclub and end up at the fashionable Hotel Nacionale where Sarah orders a ham sandwich. After a bit of sightseeing they end up in a street café. Sarah orders a milk shake, which Sky translates to the waiter as "Dulce de Leche," a potent alcoholic drink. After several drinks, Sarah jealously interrupts when a dancer flirts with Sky, precipitating a huge barroom brawl.

Scene Nine: Sky has carried Sarah away from the brawl. As he sets her down, she kisses him. He asks her how she feels. She tells him she feels wonderful ("If I Were a Bell") and falls into his arms. Realizing he is falling in love with her, a guilty Sky tells her about the bet he made. "How else would a girl get to meet a gambler?" she responds. She reluctantly allows him to take her back to New York.

Scene Ten: Outside the Mission at 4:00 AM, Sky and Sarah run into Adelaide, who is returning from a bridal shower thrown for her by the Hot Box dancers. Sky explains to Sarah 4:00 AM is his favorite time of day and she is the only woman he has ever wanted to share it with ("My Time of Day"). After revealing to her his real name is Obediah Masterson, Sky and Sarah sing to each other about their newfound love ("I've Never Been In Love Before"). At the end of the song they are met by Arvide, who is returning from a night of Mission work. As they are talking, police bells are heard. Suddenly, Benny, Nicely, Nathan and the other gamblers run out of the Mission chased by Brannigan; Nathan has held the crap game in the Mission. Sarah is convinced Sky's trip to Havana was part of Nathan's plan all along, and angrily breaks off with him.

Act Two

Scene One: Adelaide and the other dancers perform another number at the Hot Box Club ("Take Back Your Mink"). After the number Sky enters and is approached by Nicely, who is looking for Adelaide. He has been sent to tell her Nathan won't be coming to get her after the show. Nicely tells Sky that Nathan is still at the game because Big Jule, who is losing, won't allow the game to end until he wins back his money. Adelaide arrives and, after hearing Nicely's message, realizes Nathan is still running the crap game. She asks Sky to tell Nathan she never wants to see him again. (Reprise: "Adelaide's Lament")

Scene Two: Sarah, angry she is in love with Sky, and convinced he helped set up the Mission crap game, tells Arvide she wants to leave. Arvide sings about his dreams for her future ("More I Cannot Wish You"). Sky and Nicely pass by, on their way to the crap game. Sky tells Sarah and Arvide he intends to honor his IOU to Sarah. He and Nicely open a manhole cover and descend to the crap game, being held in the sewer.

Scene Three: The game is proceeding furiously ("The Crapshooters' Dance"). At the end of the dance, Big Jule again demands they all stay until he wins back the money he has lost (and then some) and uses his gun to back up the demand. He announces he will play with Nathan only, using his own dice, which have no marks on them. Only Jule can call the outcome of each throw, so Nathan is bound to lose. Jule also announces he will play his IOUs against Nathan's cash. When Sky and Nicely appear at the game, Sky tries to talk to the gamblers about the Mission. Big Jule protests, and Sky punches him, knocking him down. Sky grabs Big Jule's gun and tosses it to Nathan. He then proposes a bet on one throw of the dice: if he loses, Sky will pay each gambler $1,000; if he wins, each gambler has to show up at the Mission for the meeting taking place that night. The gamblers all take up Sky's bet. As Sky prepares to throw the dice, he prays to Lady Luck for help ("Luck Be A Lady Tonight").

Scene Four: Harry the Horse and Big Jule complain about having to go to the Mission. Nathan sees Adelaide, who angrily tells him she has told her mother they are expecting their sixth child. Nathan tells her they can't get married before midnight because he has to go to a Mission meeting. Adelaide complains about all of Nathan's lies as Nathan tells her he loves her ("Sue Me").

Scene Five: At a few minutes past midnight, all the gamblers enter the Mission to the surprise of Sarah Brown and the delight of General Abernathy. At the General's request for testimonies, various gamblers tell how they're sorry Sky won his bet. The testimonies continue with Nicely recounting a dream he had about being on a boat to heaven ("Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat"). After the song Nathan confesses to Sarah about his bet with Sky, explaining Sky admitted to losing the bet. Sarah is puzzled by Nathan's statement, since Sky had actually won his bet. She exits the Mission as the General begins to lead the gamblers in a hymn (Reprise: "Follow the Fold").

Scene Six: Sarah and Adelaide meet on the street in the early morning and commiserate about Sky and Nathan. They come to the conclusion they should just concentrate on getting married and worry about changing their men afterward ("Marry the Man Today").

Scene Seven: Adelaide appears in a wedding gown and calls for Nathan, who now operates a newsstand. He emerges from the stand wearing an elegant cut-away and tells her he hasn't yet found a place for their wedding. The Mission Band enters, led by Sky and Sarah, and Nathan asks them if he and Adelaide could get married in the Mission. Arvide, who has alreadyperformed the marriage ceremony for Sky and Sarah, promises to do the same for them. When Adelaide details her plans for a little place in the country, Nathan lets out a huge sneeze (Reprise: "Guys and Dolls").

History: The original production burst onto Broadway in 1950 and ran for 1,200 performances. A 1976 revival with an all-African-American cast including Robert Guillaume ran for 239 performances, and the colorful 1992 revival with Peter Gallagher and Faith Prince became the longest-running revival of a Broadway musical, running until January 1995 (almost longer than the original!) The film version starred Marlon Brando as Sky and Frank Sinatra as Nathan.


Opened 11/24/1950 Ran for 1200 performances.     
Version:     Original 1950 Broadway Version     
Credits:     Book by Jo Swerling & Abe Burrows

Music by Frank Loesser

Lyrics by Frank Loesser

Based on "The Idyll of Sarah Brown" and characters by Damon Runyon      
Type:     Book Show      
Acts:     Two      
Rating:     G      
Cast Size:     Large (over 20)      
Orchestra Size:     Medium (12-17)      
Chorus Required:     large     
Dancing Required:     Yes, but minimal/optional     
Difficulty:     Easy to learn
Easy to sing      
Style:     Broadway      
Category:     Comedy
Period Piece
Romance
Nostalgia      
Ideal For:     Colleges
Community Theatres
Low Budgets
Concerts      
Cast Size:     Large (over 20)     
     Men & Women      
Casting Notes:     Star vehicle - male
Star vehicle - female     
Characters:     Sky Masterson, handsome gambler; baritone (B - E-flat)
Sarah Brown, prim Salvation Army officer, soprano (B - high A)
Nathan Detroit, feckless, adorable gambler; baritone (D - high F)
Miss Adelaide, soggy, simple showgirl; mezzo (A - D)
Nicely-Nicely, a gambler; tenor (D-flat - high B-flat)
Arvide, Sarah's grandfather; baritone (D - high F)
Agatha, the Salvation Army matron; mezzo (E - D)
Benny Southstreet, another gambler, baritone (D-flat - high G)
Rusty Charlie, another gambler; baritone (D-flat - G)

Big Jule, another gambler
Lt. Brannigan
Harry the Horse, another gambler

Also: Assorted other gangsters (including a very imposing Chicago kingpin); Hot Box dolls; Salvation Army evangelists; Cuban partiers.     
Special Requirements:     Bright colors, bright drops, minimal sets will do. A few locales.     


Fugue for Tinhorns
NICELY
I got the horse right here
The name is Paul Revere
And here's a guy that says that the weather's clear
Can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do, can do, can do.

(Benny starts singing his part at this time, while Nicely continues:)
Can do - can do - this guy says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do - can do, can do.

(Rusty starts singing his part as the time, while Nicely and Benny continue:)
For Paul Revere I'll bite
I hear his foot's all right
Of course it all depends if it rained last night

Likes mud, likes mud, this X means the horse likes mud
If that means the horse likes mud, likes mud
Likes mud.

I tell you Paul Revere
Now this is no bum steer
It's from a handicapper that's real sincere
Can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do.
If he says the horse can do - can do - can do.
Paul Revere. I got the horse right here.

BENNY
I'm pickin' Valentine, 'cause on the morning line
A guy has got him figured at five to nine
Has chance, has chance, this guy says the horse has chance
if he says the horse has chance, has chance, has chance

I know it's Valentine, the morning work looks fine
Besides the jockey's brother's a friend of mine
Needs race, needs race, this guy says the horse needs race
If he says the horse needs race, needs race, needs race.
I go for Valentine, 'Cause on the morning line,
The guy has got him figured at five to nine
Has chance, has chance, this guy says the horse has chance
Valentine! I got the horse right here.

RUSTY CHARLIE
But look at Epitaph. he wins it by a half
According to this here in the Telegraph
"Big Threat" - "Big Threat"
This guy calls the horse "Big Threat"
If he calls the horse "Big Threat",
Big Threat, Big Threat.

And just a minute, boys.
I've got the feed box noise
It says the great-grandfather was Equipoise
Shows class, shows class.
This guy says the horse shows class
If he says the horse shows class
Shows class, show's class.

So make it Epitaph, he wins it by a half
According to this here in the Telegraph.
Epitaph! I got the hore right here!



Follow the Fold
Follow the fold and stray no more
Stray no more, stray no more.
Put down the bottle and we'll say no more
Follow, follow, the fold.
Before you take another swallow!
Follow the fold and stray no more
Stray no more, stray no more.
Tear up your poker deck and play no more.
Follow, follow, the fold.

To the meadows, where the sun shines
Out of the darkness
And the cold.
And the pain and shame in which you wallow.
Follow the fold and stray no more
Stray no more, stray no more.
If you're a sinner and you pray no more
Follow, follow, the fold.


The Oldest Established

The Biltmore garage wants a grand
But we ain't got a grand on hand.
And they now got a lock on the door
To the gym at P.S. 84.
There's the stock room behind the McCloskey's bar.
But Mrs. McCloskey ain't a good scout.
And things being how they are
The back of the police station is out!
So the Biltmore garage is the spot.
But the one thousand bucks we ain't got.
Why it's good old reliable Nathan!
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Detroit!
If you're looking for action, his firm is the spot.
Even when the heat is on, it's never too hot.
Not for good old reliable Nathan!
Where it's always just a short walk
To the oldest established, permanent floating,
Crap game in New York

There are well-heeled shooters everywhere, everywhere
There are well-heeled shooters everywhere.
And an awful lot of lettuce
For the fella who can get us there.
If we only had a lousy little grand
We could be a millionaire!
That's good old reliable Nathan!
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Detroit!
If the size of your bundle you want to increase
He'll arrange that you go broke in quiet and peace
In a hideout provided by Nathan
Where there are no neighbors to squawk.
It's the oldest established permanent floating
Crap game in New York.
Where's the action? Where's the game?
Gotta have the game
Of we'll die from shame.
It's the oldest established, permanent floating
Crap game in New York!

I'll know

For I've imagined every bit of him
To the strong moral fiber to the wisdom in his head
To the home-y aroma of his pipe
You have wished yourself a Scarsdale Galahad
The breakfast-eating, Brooks-brothers type.
Yes, and I shall meet him when the time is right.

SKY. (spoken) You've got the guy all figured out.
SARAH (spoken) I have.
SKY (spoken) Including what he smokes. All figured out, huh?
SARAH (spoken) All figured out.

I'll know when my love comes along
I won't take a change.
I'll know he'll be just what I need
Not some fly-by-night Broadway romance.
And you'll know at a glance by the two-pair of pants.
I'll know by the calm steady voice
Those feet on the ground.
I'll know as I run to his arms
That at last I've come home safe and sound.
Until then, I shall wait.
Until then, I'll be strong.
Oh, I'll know, when my love comes along.

SKY. (spoken) No, no, no! You are talking about love! You can't dope it like that. What
are you picking, a guy or a horse?
SARAH (spoken) I wouldn't expect a gambler to understand.
SKY (spoken) Would you like to hear how a gambler feels about the big heart throb?
SARAH (spoken) No!
SKY (spoken) Well, I'll tell you.

Mine will come as a surprise to me.
Mine I lead to chance and chemistry.

SARAH (spoken) Chemistry?
SKY (spoken) Yeah, chemistry.

Suddenly I'll know when my love comes along
I'll know then and there
I'll know at the sight of her face
How I care, how I care, how I care
And I'll stop. And I'll stare.

And I'll know long before we can speak
I'll know in my heart.
I'll know and I won't ever ask
Am I right, am I wise, am I smart.
And I'll stop. And I'll stare.
At that face. In the throng.
Yes, I'll know when my love comes along
I'll know
When my love comes along.

I'll know. I won't take a chance.
I know he'll be just what I need
Not some fly-by-night Broadway romance.
Until then, I shall wait.
And till then, I'll be strong.
Oh, I'll know when my love comes along.

Bushel And A Peck

I love you, a bushel and a peck!
A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!
A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin' in my sleep.
About you.
About you!
About you!
My heart is leapin'!
I'm having trouble sleepin'!
'Cause I love you, a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do!
Doodle, oodle, oodle.
Doodle, oodle, oodle.
Doodle oodle oodle oo.
I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck, go and beats me all to heck!
Beats me all to heck how I'll ever tend the farm
Ever tend the farm when I want to keep my
Arms - about you -
About you!
About you!
The cows and chickens
are goin' to the dickens!
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do -

Doodle oodle oodle
Doodle oodle oodle
Doodle oodle oodle, oo!

Good-bye now!
(they repeat the "doodles" as they exit)

Adelaide's Lament
It says here:
The average unmarried female
Basically insecure
Due to some long frustration may react
With psychosomatic symptoms
Difficult to endure
Affecting the upper resperatory tract.

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold
A person can develop a cold.

You can spray her wherever you figure there's streptococci lurk
You can give her a shot for whatever's she's got, but it just won't work
If she's tired of getting the fish eye from the hotel clerk
A person can develop a cold.

It says here:
The female remaining single
Just in the legal sense
Shows a neurotic tendancy, see note: (looks at note
Chronic organic symptoms
Toxic or hypertense
Involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat.

In other words, just from worrying if the wedding is on or off
A person can develop a cough.

You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the bromofizz
But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is.
If she's getting a kind of name for herself, and the name ain't his
A person can develop a cough.

And furthur more, just from stalling, and stalling,
And stalling the wedding trip
A person can develop la grippe.

When they get on that train to Niagara
And she can hear church bells chime
The compartment is air conditioned
And the mood sublime
Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time!
A person can develop la grippe,
La grippe.
La post nasal drip.
With the wheezes
And the sneezes
And a sinus that's really a pip!

From a lack of community property
And a feeling she's getting to old
A person can develop a bad, bad cold!
(ADELAIDE sneezes)

Guys and Dolls
What's playing at the Roxy?
I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxy.
A picture about a Minnesota man falls in love with a Mississippi girl
That he sacrifices everything and moves all the way to Biloxi.
That's what's playing at the Roxy.

What's in the daily news?
I'll tell you what's in the daily news.
Story about a man bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise would have been his union dues.
That's what's in the daily news.

What's happening all over?
I'll tell you what's happening all over.
Guy sitting home by a television set
That used to be something of a rover.

That's what's happening all over.

Love is the thing that has nipped them.
And it looks like Nathan's just another victim.

NICELY (spoken) Yes, sir!

When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.
When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane.
When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal.
Call it sad, call it funny.
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doing it for some doll.
When you see a Joe saving have of his dough
You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll.
When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford
It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb of some little broad.
When you meet a mug lately out of the jug
And he's still lifting platinum folderol
Call it hell, call it heaven
But it's probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doing it for some doll.

(interlude)

When you see a sport and his cash has run short
Make a bet that he's banking it with some doll.
When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white
Who the hell do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night?
When a lazy slob takes a goody steady job,
And he smells from vitalis and barbasol.
Call it dumb, call it clever
Ah, but you can get odds forever
That the guy's only doing it for some doll
Some doll, some doll
The guy's only doing it for some doll!

If I Were A Bell
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're cosy and clinging
Well sir, all I can say, is if I were a bell I'd be ringing!

From the moment we kissed tonight
That's the way I've just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light
And If I were a banner I'd wave!

  Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing
Well sir, all I can say is if gate I'd be swinging!
And if I were a watch I'd start popping my springs!
Or if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding!

Ask me how do I feel from this chemistry lesson I'm learning.

SKY (spoken) Uh, chemistry?
SARAH (spoken) Yes, chemistry!

Well sir, all I can say is if I were a bridge I'd be burning!

Yes, I knew my moral would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked!
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack!
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked!

Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're fondly caressing
Well, if I were a salad I know I'd be splashing my dressing
Ask me how to describe this whole beautiful thing
Well, if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding!


My Time of Day
My time of day is the dark time
A couple of deals before dawn
When the street belongs to the cop
And the janitor with the mop
And the grocery clerks are all gone.

When the smell of the rainwashed pavement
Comes up clean, and fresh, and cold
And the streetlamp light
Fills the gutter with gold

That's my time of day
My time of day

And you're the only doll I've ever wanted to share it with me.


I've Never Been In Love Before
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.

I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.

I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour

So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.

Take Back Your Mink
He bought me the fur mink five winters ago
And the gown the following fall
Then the necklace, the bag, the gloves, and the hat,
That was late '48 I recall
Then last night in his apartment
He tried to remove them all
And I said as I ran down the hall.

Take back your mink
Take back your pearls
What made you think
That I was one of those girls?
Take back the gown
The gloves and the hat
I may be down
But I'm not flat as all that.

  I thought that each expensive gift you'd arranged
Was a token of your esteem
But when I think of what you want in exchange
It all seems a horrible dream
Eek.

So take back your mink.
To from whence it came
And tell them to alter and rise it
For some other dame

Take back your mink
Take back your pearls
What made you think
That I was one of those girls?
I'm screaming:
Take back the gown
The gloves and the hat
I may be down
But I'm not flat as all that.

I thought that each expensive gift you'd arranged
Was a token of your esteem
But when I think of what you want in exchange
It all seems a horrible dream
Eek!

Take back your mink
Those old worn out pelts
And go shorten the sleaves
For somebody else.

(interlude)

Well, wouldn't you?

Adelaide's Lament Reprise
In other words
Just from sitting alone at a table reserved for two
A person can develop the flu.
You can bundle her up in her woolies
And I mean the warmest friend
You can wrap her in sweaters and coats
Till its more than her brain can stand
If she still gets the feeling she's naked
From looking at her left hand
A person can develop the flu, the flu
A hundred and three point two
So much virus inside
That her microscope slide
Looks like a day at the zoo
Just from wanting her memories in writing
And a story her folks can be told
A person can develop a cold.

More I Cannot Wish You
Velvet I can wish you
For the collar of your coat
And fortune smiling all along your way
But More I Cannot Wish You
Than to wish you find your love
Your own true love this day

Mansions I can wish you
Seven footmen all in red
And calling cards upon a silver tray.
But More I Cannot Wish You
Than to wish you find your love
Your own true love this day

Standing there
Gazing at you
Full of the bloom of youth

Standing there
Gazing at you
With a sheeps' eye
And a lickerish tooth.

Music I can wish you
Merry music while you're young
And wisdom when your hair has turned to gray.
But More I Cannot Wish You
Than to wish you find your love
Your own true love this day
With a sheeps' eye
And a lickerish tooth
And a strong arms
To carry you away.

Luck Be A Lady
They call you Lady Luck.
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very unladylike way of running out
You're this a date with me
The pickings have been lush
And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush
You might forget your manners
You might refure to stay and So the best that I can to is pray.

Luck be a lady tonight
Luck be a lady tonight
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight.

Luck let a gentleman see
How nice a dame you can be
I've seen the way you've treated other guys you've been with
Luck be a lady with me.

A lady doesn't leave her escort
It isn't fair, it isn't nice
A lady doesn't wander all over the room
And blow on some other guy's dice.
So let's keep the party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby, I'm the fellow you came in with
Luck be a lady
Luck be a lady
Luck be a lady tonight.

Luck be a lady tonight.
Luck be a lady tonight.
Luck, if you've ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight.

Luck let a gentleman see

Luck let a gentleman see

How nice a dame you can be

How nice a dame you can be

I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with

Luck me a lady, a lady, be a lady with me.

Luck be a lady with me

A Lady wouldn't flirt with strangers
She'd have a heart, she'd have a soul
A lady wouldn't make little snake eyes at me
When I've got my life on this roll.

Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em, snake eyes
Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em!

So let's keep the party polite

Let's keep the party polite

Never get out of my sight

                                        CRAPSHOTERS

Never get out of my sight.
Stick here, baby, stick here, baby.

Stick with me, baby, I'm the fellow you came in with
Luck be a lady

Luck be a lady

Luck be a lady tonight.

Coming out, coming out, coming out
Right!

Sue Me
You promise me this, you promise me that
You promise me anything under the sun
Then you give me a kiss,
And your grabbing your hat
And your off to the races again
When I think of the time gone by

Adelaide, Adelaide!

And I think of the way I tried!

Adelaide!

I could honestly die.

Call a lawyer and sue me,
Sue me
What can you do me,
I love you.
Give a holler and hate me
Hate me
Go ahead, hate me!
I LOVE YOU

The best years of my life, I was a fool to give you you

Alright, already, I'm just a no-goodnick!
Alright, already, it's true.
So new.
So sue me, sue me
What can you do me?
I love you

You gamble it here,
You gamble it there
You gamble on everything, all except me
And I'm sick of you keeping me up in the air
Till your back in the money again
When I think of the time gone by

Adelaide, Adelaide!

And I think of the way I tried!

Adelaide!

I could honestly die.

Serve a paper and sue me, sue me
What can you do me,
I love you.
Give a holler and hate me,
Hate me,
Go ahead, hate me!

When you wind up in jail
Don't come to me to bail you out!

Alright, already, so call a policeman!
Alright, already, it's true
So new
So sue me, sue me
What can you do me
I love you!

You're at it again,
You're running the game
I'm not gonna play second fiddle to that.
And I'm telling you now that we're through!
When I think of the time gone by

Adelaide, Adelaide!

And I think of the way I tried!

Adelaide!

I could honestly die.

Sue me, sue me
Shoot bullets through me
I love you!!
Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought my dice along
And there I stood
And I hollered "Someone fade me"
But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.
For the peopel all said sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

People all said sit down
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.

And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down you're rockin' the boat.

I sailed away on that little boat to heaven
And by some chance found a bottle in my fist
And there I stood,Nicely passin' out the whisky
 But the passengers were bound to resisist
For the people all said beware
You're on a heavenly trip
People all said beware
Beware, you'll scuttle the ship.
And the devil will drag you under
By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, you're rockin' the boat

And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs)
(gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board!
And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!"
That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord
And I said to myself, sit down, sit down,
You're rockin' the boat!
Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float,
Sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

Adelaide Meets Sarah
Keep the vicks on your chest
And get plenty of rest
You can wisely warn her
But in spite of the quiet
Massages and diet
She's still a goner
When she gets the idea that the little
Church will always be around the corner
A person can develop a cold.

So please forgive
This helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.

Marry the Man Today
At Wanamaker's and Saks and Klein's
A lesson I've been taught
You can't get alterations on a dress you haven't bought

At any vegetable market from Borneo to Nome
You mustn't squeeze a melon till you get the melon home.

You've simply got to gamble

You get no guarantee

Now doesn't that kind of apply to you and I

You and me.

Why not?

Why not what?

Marry the man today.
Trouble though he may be
Much as he likes to play
Crazy and wild and free
Marry the man today
Rather than sigh in sorrow
Marry the man today
And change his ways tomorrow.
Marry the man today.
Marry the man today
Maybe he's leaving town
Don't let him get away
Hurry and track him down
Counterattack him and
Marry the man today
Give him the girlish laughter
Give him your hand today
And save the fist for after.
Slowly introduce him to the better things
Respectable, conservative, and clean
Readers Digest
Guy Lombardo
Rogers Peet
Golf!
Galoshes
Ovaltine!
But marry the man today
Handle it meek and gently
Marry the man today and train him subsequently
Carefully expose him to domestic life
And if he ever tries to stray from you
Have a pot roast.
Have a headache
Have a baby
have two!
Six
Nine!
STOP!
But Marry the Man today
Rather than sign and sorrow
Marry the man today
And chance his ways - change his ways - his ways
Tomorrow!

Guys and Dolls Reprise
When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some dolls
When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane.

When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal.
Call it sad, call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guys only doing it for some doll.