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It's a Bird, It's a Plane
Original Broadway Cast Recording
Music by Charles Strouse
Lyrics by Lee Adams

Musical Numbers:

Doing Good
We Need Him
It's Superman
We Don't Matter At All
The Woman for the Man
You've Got Possibilities
What I've Always Wanted
Everything's Easy When You Know How
It's Super Nice
So Long, Big Guy
The Strongest Man in the World
Ooh, Do You Love You!
You've Got What I Need
It's Superman
I'm Not Finished Yet
Pow! Bam! Zonk!

Every man has a job to do
And my job is doing good.
Every night when the job is through
I fold my tights, proud to know
I've done all I could.

It's a satisfying feeling
When you hang up your cape
To know that you've averted
Murder, larceny and rape.
Every man has a job to do;
Well, back into the old Clark Kent disguise.
I'll never stop doing good.

Other men have their work to do
But as for me, I must live,
Not one life but two.
This disguise is really wonderful
For who would guess
That underneath this white shirt
Is a great big red "S".
Every man has his job to do
And my job is doing good.
I'll never stop doing good.

Oh, it's hard to keep on wearing
The old Clark Kent smile,
But I know I have to do it 'cause
My work is so worthwhile.
La-de-dum, it's a funny life.
Still and all, a life well spent.
So here you go, bravery gone,
Meek and mild, glasses on.
Superman, now you're Clark Kent.

In a world of evil and doubt
We need him, we need him.
In these times of misery and crimes
We need him, we need him.

Complications, accusations,
A world of cheap sensations,
A world with no foundations,
And so we need him.

Trouble looms and somehow he knows
We need him, we need him.
Down he zooms and that's the end of those
Who fight him
And that's why we need him.

He saved my baby from a fire.
He caught the thug who was mugging Uncle Meyer.
Yes, when a bad situation grows dire
We need him.  Him.

He brings the orphans Christmas turkey.
He flew my asthmatic son to Albuquerque.
Yes, when the world's moral standards grow murky
We need him.  

Max:     Who needs him?
Lois:     I need him.   
Clark:     They need me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, in this world of moral decay
We know this he is good
And we need him!

Oh how I wish I weren't in love
With Superman.
A wasted life is all I've got
With Superman.
To hope that it could ever be
Is just a schoolgirl fantasy.
Oh, is there no one else for me
But Superman?

Does he ever hold me?
Has he ever told me
He could care?
Tell me please when will he
Learn it's not some silly
Fly-by-night affair?

I know that I should find myself
Another man.
Someone to give my love to
As I know I can:
A homey type who'll stay around,
A guy with both feet on the ground
But till he comes my heart is bound
To Superman.

Jim sings:

What are we?  A pair of puny primates
On a very tiny planet
In a minor galaxy!
We don't matter at all.

One big boom! and it'll all be over;
Or perhaps the smog will finish
Our short, dull history.
We don't matter at all.

Oh sure, every hundred years or so
We come up with a Gandhi or a Michelangelo.
Hooray!  Ain't that dandy, we say,
Then we muck things up
In the same destructive way.

So, here you are:  an earnest girl reporter
And you think you're something special
In this vast eternity.

Baby, you and I
We're just about as special
As a walnut or a fly.
We don't matter at all.
We don't matter at all.
We don't really matter at all.

Am I getting through to you?

Lois sings:

Not yet!

What are we?  Two little specs of nothing
Just a couple of amoeba
In the universal sea
We don't matter at all.

What am I?  Some phosphorus and water;
I've heard chemically speaking
Worth a dollar eighty-three.
We don't matter at all.

I know, that my eyes aren't merely blue
They're just opthalmolic lenses,
Rather inefficient too.
I know, and I find it all a bore.
Oh, Professor, I have had this course before.

So here we are:  two herrings in the ocean
And the overbearing herring
Is coming on with me.

Wrong approach--to me I'm much more special
Than a walnut or a roach.
Oh, we matter we do.
What's the matter with you?
People really matter, they do.

Jim sings:

What's so great about people?
They couldn't matter less than they do!
Look at me:  a ten times Nobel Prize loser!

In 1938 I earned my PHD
With a masterful hypothesis
In colloid chemistry.
I was getting set to publish
When much to my surprise
Richard T. Zsigmondy won the Nobel Prize.
And for what?  For work on the heterogeneous nature of colloid solutions!  My field!  My colloids!

In 1949 I thought I had it made:
My work in light diffusion
Put my colleagues in the shade.
But then my hopes were shattered
By some Hindu in Ceylon.
They gave the prize in physics
To Sir Chandra V. Raman.
For work in light diffusion -- the Raman effect!  Damn it, it should have been the Sedgwick effect!

Revenge, revenge,
I'll have it on them all.
No single slight will I forget.
I'll show no mercy you can bet.
They'll all get theirs the day I get

That dopey Wolfgang Pauli
For his work in fission.
I used to help that punk
With long division.
And Fermi for his brilliant
Neutron system.
That bum, he wouldn't know a neutron
If it kissed him.

Ah, but the thing that really
Drove me to a fury:
They gave the prize to Harold Urey.
The shocking thing about the matter is
My heavy hydrogen was heavier than his.

Revenge, revenge,
Oh, it will taste so sweet.
A misanthrope, yes, I might be,
An outcast of society.
Think what you like, but just give me
Revenge, revenge!

It really goes way back,
My parents hated me --
You see, my birth surprised them.
Mom was sixty-three.

Nanny smelled of Clorox
And boarding school was hell.
I'll show you Dad, and Mom and Nanny
And Alfred B. Nobel.

Revenge, revenge,
That's all I live for now.
I'll make them wince and cringe and cry.
I spit in their collective eye.
I'll have one thing before I die --

And I'll have it by destroying the world's symbol of Goodness - Superman!


You know, you're really quite a dish.
You're what a guy might call delish.
You've got an awful lot of class.
You're packed as solid as a knish.

But every time I make a pass,
I get the well known freezeroo.
What's the bit, kid?  I admit, kid,
I can't figure you.

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything.
Let me show you how to live.
Girls who get are girls who give.

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything.
I'm a man who has everything.
Everything but you.

Ah, Lois, you're fighting it!  But you can't deny it; the old chemistry is getting to ya.  Hubba, hubba.

At every opening night, I'm there.
Headwaiters know me everywhere.
Of course, it's freebies all the way.
A check for me - they wouldn't dare.

A chick is seen with me today,
Tomorrow Zanuck starts to call.
So relax kid; this is Max, kid -
Don't give me a stall.

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything.
You're the type that I adore,
So why fight it anymore?

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything.
I'm a man who has everything;
Share it all with me.

Max:     Did you ever know I used to be a hoofer before I started writing a column?
Lois:     You killed vaudeville, Max; can't you leave journalism alone?  Break a leg, kid.
Max:     Sorry, never do requests.

I've got a color TV set
That isn't on the market yet.
I've got a hideaway in Quogue
It has a view you won't forget.

You have a drink and watch the fog,
I have this chef who cooks the end.
Let's drive out, sweets;
I've no doubt, sweets,
You and I will blend.

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything.
Why not give old Max a try?
He's a pretty decent guy.

You're the woman for the man
Who has everything
And for the man who has everything
Only the best will do
So why can't I have you?  Yeah!

Hair cut - simply terrible.
Neck tie - the worst.
Bearing - just unbearable.
What to tackle first?
Still, you've got possibilities,
Though you're horribly square.
I see possibilities;
Underneath there's something there.

Collar - pure Peoria.
That hat - oh no!
I'm not Queen Victoria -
This suit has to go.
Still, you've got possibilities
Let us give it a try.
I see possibilities
Maybe more than meets the eye.

Don't back away.
Come on, unbend.
Why can't I be
Your little friend?

Baby, you're improvable.
It won't take long.
Mountains can be moveable
If the spirit's strong.

You've got possibilities;
Takes a woman to tell.
I see possibilities.
Let me pry you from your shell.

Relax, sweetheart, I'm not going to bite you - yet.

You won't be shy
When I get through.
Come on and roar,
You, tiger, you!

Somewhere, way down deep in you
There's life, no doubt.
It's just been asleep in you.
Let me bring it out.
You've got possibilities,
Maybe even a lot.
Red hot possibilities -
Why be shy and ill at ease?
I see possibilities
You don't even know you've got.

Well, well, look at me:
The girl who wanted the
Unattainable man.
But now suddenly,
Life has handed me
A totally different plan.
One kiss and something in me melts
And what I've always wanted
Turns out to be something else.

What I've always wanted.
What I've always wanted:
Being just a wife; that corny life
Is what I've always wanted.

A dogwood tree; the A & P;
Green stamps in a book;
Making like a cook.

What I've always wanted:
Furnishing a nurs'ry;
Staying home at night
And candlelight on ev'ry annivers'ry --
It's what I've always wanted,
Haven't you?

Could that girl be me:
Miss Lois Lane,
Driving in the rain
To meet his train?
It's what I've always wanted
Coming true!

It's supernice.  It's supernice.
To be with you.  To be with you
We only hope.  We only hope
You feel it too.
So glad you're here.
So glad you're here
All red and blue.  All red and blue
As supernice, nice, a person like you.

Fast like a super fan jet -
How speedy can a man get?
You knock us out when you say
Up, up, up and away.

How that cat can go!

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a -
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a -
You 'spose that's a bird?
You 'spose that's a plane?
'Splain me if you can:
Is that Superman?

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a -
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a -
There goes a Superman.  A look!
Look, up in the sky,
There goes Supe, baby, my-oh-my.

He gets the bad guys, rough guys,
Any size tough guys
Wooh yeah, wooh yeah, oh, oh
Come on, come on, come on now, baby.

When you're wingin', oh baby
Hey, you're swingin', oh baby

We love you, baby,
We love you, baby,
We love you baby,
Hey, you're coo coo

We love you, Supe.
You're really there
Big Superman, man, man, man
Up in that air
You're everywhere
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!


So long, big guy,
It's tough to say goodbye.
So long, big guy,
Here's mud in your X-ray eye.

Farewell, old pal,
You know we'll all miss you.
You had your day
So what is there left to say?

Sure, you were doin' swell.
Too bad you fell, big fella.
You might as well
Turn in those tights,
Big guy, take your last bow
And look who's the big guy now!

Ah, it serves him right.  All those superpowers and he gave 'em away.  Boy, I could make a million bucks with that kind of talent.  And that X-ray vision.  You know what I could do with X-ray vision?

Chin up, big guy,
And don't let it get you.
So you're a bum --
It's something to overcome.

Bye, bye, big boy,
You sure entertained us.
I'll think of you
Whenever I'm feeling blue.

You landed with a thud.
That's how it goes, old buddy.
Go on and cry; I understand,
Big guy; you're through and how
And me - I'm the big guy -
So long, ta ta and adios,
Chin chin, shalom and toodle-oo,
Areverderci, daddio - now!

Why can't the strongest man in the world
Be the happiest man in the world?
Why does the strongest man in the world
Have the heaviest heart in the world?

Why must I, the Man of Steel
Feel as helpless as a man of straw?
They used to hold me in such awe;
Now their cheers have turned to jeers.
Why must the strongest man in the world
Be the bluest man, tell me why?
Don't they know the strongest man can cry?

Here am I, the Man the Steel,
Hiding out here like a timid mouse.
Why, I could lift up this whole house -
But what for; they care no more.

Why must the strongest man in the world
Be the saddest man, tell me why?
Don't they know the strongest man can cry?

Someone in this world thinks you're wonderful.
Someone sees how marvelous you are.
You don't know how much this someone worships you
And not from afar.

Ooh, do you love you.
Ooh, do you love you.
I've seen nothing to match
Such pure conceit.
You're so sold on yourself
It's sort of sweet.

You're what you enjoy.
Boy, it's boy meets boy.
You're just what you deserve
So stay true blue.
Ooh, do you love you.

From the moment you saw you,
How your heart began to pound.
It was not infatuation,
No, it was much more profound.

Then you smiled and you trembled
And the thunder rolled above.
From that day you can't forget
As you lit your cigarette,
You just knew it was love.

Ooh, do you dig you.
Ooh, you're gone on you.
It's so touching to see a love so deep
Sentimental old me can't help but weep.

Let them say it's wrong
Love like yours is strong.
You've found your Mister Right:
It's you-know-who.
Ooh, do you love,
Ooh, what true love
Ooh, do you love you!

My heart's pounding with the power now before me.
Gee, Prof; I'm beginning to see, Prof.
My soul quivers with the glory now in view.
Hell, Prof; it's beginning to jell.
We'll cut this town up like a great big cake, Prof.
Shake, Prof, when it's me and you.

You've got what I need, baby,
You've got it and how.
You've got what I need, baby.
Together we can scale the heights
And I mean right now.

You've got what it takes, sweetie,
All the way from A to Z.
You've got what I need, baby,
'Cause from now on, baby, you've got me.

Sedgwick:     You're a thoroughly immoral person, Max.  I like you.
Max:          Why thanks, Professor, it's mutual.
          Ah, we're going to make some team, Prof.
Sedgwick:     Call me Abner.
Max:          Abner, I love that name.

You're loaded with class, baby,
La creme de la creme.
Let's step on the gas, baby.
Oh, Abner, you're a million laughs.
Max, you're a gem.

You've got it in spades, lovey,
You're a pal, no ballyhoo.
I've got what I need, baby,
'Cause from now on, baby, I've got you.


You've got it upstairs, baby,
The best in the house.
You're tops in my book, cookie

Max:          Hit it, Abner; you're Mickey Mouse!
Sedgwick:     Woo!

Here comes the new team, Mister.
We'll be great, just wait and see.
You've got what I need, baby,
'Cause from now on, baby,
Don't mean maybe
Now on, baby, you've got me.

Max:     We're going home, Abner!

IT'S SUPERMAN (First Reprise)
Lois:          Do you have a minute, Clark?
Clark:          Sure.
Lois:          Have you seen Superman lately?
Clark:          Yeah, this morning.
Lois:          Did he ask for me by any chance?
Clark:          No, why should he?
Lois:          Oh, I don't know.
          I should be thinking just of Jim,
          Not Superman.

Clark:          He's got a lot on his mind, you know.
          That's all I hear from every side:
          It's Superman.

Sydney:          Hi ya, Clark, Baby.

Max:          She doesn't know who's kissing her:
          It's Superman.
Lings:          Why are we always out of job?
          It's Superman.

Superman, Superman,
Superman, Superman.
Who is the man you can't ignore
It's Superman.
From Budapest to Baltimore
It's Superman.

His figure whirling round our brain:
A creature science can't explain.
It's not a bird; it's not a plane;
It's Superman!

Clark:          She doesn't expect miracles; all she wants is Clark Kent.

Jim:          I find a girl and she's hung up
          On Superman.
Sedgwick:     Who will we soon have in our net:
          It's Superman.

Jim:          Will she ever love me?
Lois:          Will he ever love me?
Clark:          Could she really like me?
Max & Sedgwick:     This caper is incredible.

Perry White:     Superman has vanished.
Father Ling:     Superman is chicken.

Why's the sky so empty?
Superman, where is he?
How could he desert us?
Superman, how could you?

Who is the man you can't forget?
It's Superman.

Max & Sedgwick:     It's gonna bring back villainy

Who's faster than a superjet?
It's Superman
How could he desert us
Knowing it would hurt us?
Why did you do this awful thing?

Nobody knows how it can be,
A man as brave and good as he.
Where is the friend we used to see?
The flashing cape that kept us free,
Who is the man of mystery,

Max & Sedgwick:     The day will live in infamy
          When we show his identity
          Our enemy!

How we love him!     How we hate him!
It's Superman!

I remember leaving my apartment
To buy some Muenster cheese,
When suddenly I get kidnapped
By a bunch of Chinese.
They blindfold me and tie me
At the ankles, wrists and knees
And then this abandoned power house
And Professor Sedgwick and more Chinese.
Then I guess I was drugged
And now I wake up with a headache.
And, I almost forgot, Max Mencken's here -
He's in this too, the louse.
So, adding it all up, it's perfectly clear:
Help!  I'm a prisoner in a Chinese power house.

I'm not finished yet;
Superman won't let me die.
He will plummet from the sky.
Why he's on his way, I'll bet.
Any moment he'll appear
And he'll whisk me out of here.
No sir, I'm not finished yet.

You've tied my hands
But you can't tie my spirit.
You'll find we journalists are hard to scare.
You may be going home before you know it:
When Superman arrives, he'll throw you there.

No, I'm not finished yet.
You can giggle all you please.
Soon you'll all be on your knees.
Men like you will always fail.
You will end your lives in jail.
Good will triumph, don't forget.
I'm not finished yet.

Don't panic, Lois, here I come.

Come on, pow! let's go, bam!
I need a little exercise.
Take that, pow! and that, zonk!
Let's see what you can do!

You boys! pow! are good, bam!
I like a crook who really tries.
Come on, pow! let's go, wham!
You'll learn a trick or two.

Gee, it's funny
But only a moment ago
Pow! Bam! Zonk!
I doubted myself
And all that was right
But now I see the light.

Oh no, whack! you don't! wham!
I'll show you babies who I am
Pow! Whack! Zonk! Crunch! Bam!

That's right! Oof!  Not bad,
Karate can be lots of fun.
Good shot - thank you!
Grunt! that's one that I forgot.

Let's not quit now;
I'll let you know when I am done.
Come on, what's wrong?
You kids don't look so hot.

Gosh, I'm hungry;
I'd sure like a T-bone steak.
Pow! Bam! Zonk!
I haven't felt this good
Since Krypton knows when.
Don't you do that again.

Good night, sweet dreams,
So sorry to mess up your plan.
But now you know - Pow!
Can't fool around - Wham! Zow!
With Superman!