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The Boyfriend
THE BOYFRIEND - THE MUSICAL (1954)
Music and Lyrics by Sandy Wilson
1. Overture
2. Perfect Young Ladies
3. Entrance of Madame Dubonnet (Incidental Music)
4. Boy Friend, The
5. Won't You Charleston With Me?
6. Fancy Forgetting
7. I Could Be Happy With You
8. Sur La Plage
9. Room In Bloomsbury, A
10. It's Nicer In Nice
11. Intermission II
12. You-Don't-Don't-Want-To-Play-With-Me Blues
13. Safety In Numbers
14. Riviera, The
15. It's Never Too Late To Fall In Love
16. Never Too Late To Fall In Love Reprise
17. Carnival Tango
18. Poor Little Pierrette
19. Finale
1. OVERTURE
2. PERFECT YOUNG LADIES
We're perfect young ladies
Preparing to take
Our places among the noblesse
We're perfect young ladies
Preparing to make
The most of the charms we possess
We're being finished
And our families' wealth
May be diminished
But at least we all have perfect health
And making the grade is our duty, you see
For perfect young ladies are we
We're perfect young ladies
Who hope to attract
A husband whose credit is good
You may be young ladies
But why don't you act
The way that a young lady should?
I've often told you -
Please don't tell us again
I ought to scold you -
But you know it would be quite in vain
For being our maid is your duty, you see
For perfect young ladies are we -
Perfect young ladies, hm!!
Perfect young ladies are we!!!!
3. ENTRANCE OF MADAME DUBONNET
(Insicental Music)
4. THE BOY FRIEND
Any girl who's reached the age
Of seventeen or thereabouts
Has but one desire in view
She knows she has reached the stage
Of needing one to care about
Nothing else will really do
Childhood games are left behind
And her heart takes wing
Hoping that it soon will find
Just one thing
We've got to have,
We plot to have,
For it's a dreary not to have
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
We scheme about
And dream about
And we've been known to scream about
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
He is really a necessity
If you want to get on
And we might as well confess it
He is a sine qua non
We sigh for him
And cry for him,
And we would gladly die for him
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
We plead to have,
We need to have,
In fact our poor hearts bleed to have
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
We'd save for him
And slave for him
We'd even misbehave for him
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
Life without us is impossible
And devoid of all charms
No amount of idle gossip'll
Keep them out of our arms
We're blue without
Can't do without
Our dreams just won't come true without
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
We're blue without
Can't do without
Our dreams just won't come true without
That certain thing called "The Boy Friend"
5. WON'T YOU CHARLESTON WITH ME?
Listen, baby, to my plea
Won't you come dancing with me?
Be my baby and say "yes"
Or else I'm done for, I guess
To dance with you is thrilling to my poor ego
So baby, say you're willing to
Shake a leg, oh
Won't you Charleston with me?
Won't you Charleston with me?
And while the band is playing that
Old vo-de-o-do
Around we will go
Together we'll show them
How the Charleston is done
We'll surprise everyone
Just think what Heaven it's going to be
If you will Charleston, Charleston with me
Won't you Charleston with me?
Won't you Charleston with me?
And while the band is playing that
Old vo-de-o-do
Around we will go
Together we'll show them
How the Charleston is done
We'll surprise everyone
Just think what Heaven it's going to be
If you will Charleston, Charleston with me
If you will Charleston, Charleston with me
6. FANCY FORGETTING
I still recall so tenderly
The night when first we met
The memory's so dear to me
So how can you forget?
Fancy forgetting
The love that we knew
When we were fancy free
Fancy forgetting
What I said to you
And what you said to me
Though the years go by
And our youth is gone
Memories don't die
Like a song they linger on
So just when I thought you'd remember it, too,
Fancy, just fancy you forgetting.
Though the years go by
And our youth is gone
Memories don't die
Like a song they linger on
So just when I thought you'd remember it, too,
Fancy, just fancy you forgetting.
7. I COULD BE HAPPY WITH YOU
I don't claim that I am psychic
But one look at you and I kick
Away every scruple
I learnt as a pupil
In school my dear
I'm not one to make predictions
But I've thrown off all restrictions,
And I don't mind confessing
I think it's a blessing
That you are here
Though I'm prepared to find I'm wrong
I've got a funny feeling we belong together
I could be happy with you
If you could be happy with me
I'd be contented to live anywhere
What would I care
As long as you were there?
Skies may not always be blue
But one thing is clear as can be
I know that I could be happy with you, my darling
If you could be happy with me.
I could be happy with you
If you could be happy with me
I'd be contented to live anywhere
What would I care
As long as you were there?
Skies may not always be blue
But one thing is clear as can be
I know that I could be happy with you, my darling
If you could be happy with me.
8. SUR LA PLAGE
What a lovely day
What a lovely day
For a dip in the sea
Oh, what fun it will be
Won't you come and have a swim with me?
But whatever you do
When I'm swimming with you
Please remember not to go too far
Though you may look cute
In your bathing suit
We don't know who you are
There's no knowing
Who you are going
To meet sur la plage
You may run up against a rajah
Or maybe your man
Will be a poor man
Sal or Susie, cannot be choosey
For here love's a guessing game
Sur la plage, sur la plage
Everyone looks the same
There's no saying
Who may be playing
With you sur la plage
A knight who's left behind his charger
May call you "ducky"
Won't you be lucky?
In the ocean
You'll find emotion
May play you a funny game
Sur la plage, sur la plage
Ev'ryone looks the -
Ev'ryone looks the -
Ev'ryone looks the same
Sur la plage, sur la plage
Ev'ryone looks the -
Ev'ryone looks the -
Ev'ryone looks the same
9. A ROOM IN BLOOMSBURY
A life of wealth does not appeal to me at all
Do you agree at all?
I do
The mere idea of living in a palace is
So full of fallacies
That's true
I've got a very different sort of scheme in mind
It's just a dream designed
For two
Would you care to hear about it, dear?
Would I care to? Can you doubt it, dear?
All I want is a room
In Bloomsbury
Just a room that will do
For you and me
One room's enough for us
Though is on the top floor
Life may be rough for us
But its troubles we'll ignore
On a Wintery night
I'll light a fire
Everything I shall do
As you desire
You'll be sitting
And you'll be knitting
And so contented we'll be
In our dear little room in Bloomsbury
All I want is a room
In Bloomsbury
Just a room that will do
For you and me
I'll sew the covers for
Two old cosy armchairs
Neighbours will love us for
We shall laugh at all our cares
While I'm reading a book
I'll cook a stew
Then I'll bake a plum duff
Enough for two
In our attic
We'll be ecstatic
As lovebirds up in a tree
All we want is a room in Bloomsbury
10. IT'S NICER IN NICE
Hortense:
I'm often asked if I would like to travel
and visit other lands across the sea
but though it might be pleasant
I think that for the present
this is the place where I prefer to be
Let others go to Sweden or Siam
I think I'll stay exactly where I am
They say it's lovely when a
young lady's in Vienna
but it's nicer, much nicer in nice
in Amsterdam or Brussels
the men have great big muscles
but they're nicer, much nicer in nice
I've heard that the italians
are very fond of dalliance
and they're also keen on it in Greece
But whatever they may say
this is where I want to stay
For it's so much nicer in nice
Boys and Girls:
She says it's nicer, much nicer in nice
She says it's nicer, much nicer in nice
Hortense:
Some people's one desire is
to go to Buenos Aires
But it's nicer, much nicer in nice
the laws are rather vague in
the town of Copenhagen
but they're nicer, much nicer in nice
And some may like a flutter
in Bombay or Calcutta
But they might have trouble with the p'lice
(spoken: Ooh, la la!)
Other places may be fun
but when all is said and done
it is
so much nicer in nice
(dance)
All spoken:
but it's nicer, much nicer in Nice
Ha, ha, ha, ha! (repeat)
Hortense:
(spoken: But they might have trouble with the p'lice Oh, Mon Dieu)
Tho' I know a love affair is delicious anywhere
It is
So much nicer in Nice
All:
And some may like a flutter
in Bombay or Calcutta
But they might have trouble with the p'lice
Other places may be fun
But when all is said and done
It is so much nicer in Nice
Hortense:
So much nicer--
All:
So much nicer in Nice
11. INTERMISSION II
(Instrumental)
12. THE "YOU-DON'T-WANT-TO-PLAY-WITH-ME" BLUES
Percy, Percy, please have mercy
Why must you always be so sad and gloomy?
Why can't you be a little nicer to me?
Chéri, Chéri
Please be merry
When I am trying to be bright and jolly
It isn't nice to be so melancholy
Oh, dear,
I've got the you-don't-want-to-play-with-me-blues
Don't-want-to-play-with-me-blues
It's clear
I've got the you-don't-want-to-play-with-me-blues
Don't-want-to-play-with-me-blues
I am so good
At spreading mirth and joy
But it's no good
With such a sulky boy
I try
To play the game the other fellows all choose
The other fellows all choose
I sigh
Because you always refuse
What is a girl to do
With such a boy as you?
I've got those
Dreary, Weary,
You-don't-want-to-play-with-me-blues
13. SAFETY IN NUMBERS
You're so fascinating
But it's aggravating
That you keep us waiting
To hear
Which one will be
Your favorite he
You're so very taking
That our hearts are breaking
So you should be making
It clear
Which one of us
You rate Alpha plus
Now listen boys, you should recall
I've often said I love you all
You love us all?
Yes, I love you all!
It's time you learned
That I'm no fool
Where love's concerned
I stick to this rule
There's safety in numbers
That's what I believe
The girl who knows
A lot of beaux
Is never likely to grieve
The lady who slumbers
Is left high and dry
But I'm awake
And never miss
The chance to take
Another kiss
There's safety in numbers
And the more the merrier am I
14. THE RIVIERA
Bobby and Maisy:
When trouble troubles you
the only thing to do
is dance, you simply gotta dance
All:
And if you've had a tiff
you'll soon forget it if you dance
you simply gotta dance
Here in the south of France
they've got a new step
it's quite the cutest dance invented to step
so do step
Girls:
Wriggle your hips and kick up your heels
you'll be suprised how lovely it feels
All:
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
Boys:
Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes
Just how it started nobody knows
All:
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
Multi Millionaires and their little pets do it
Even maiden ladies who wear lorgnettes
have taken to it
Tell ev'ryone to give out the news
this is the way to shake off the blues
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
Tell ev'ryone to give out the news
this is the way to shake off the blues
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
Get on the dance floor, get in the swing
this is the time for having a fling
Everybody's doing the Riviera
Clap-a your hands and slap on your thighs
Grin like a goon and roll up your eyes
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
All the bright young things and their bright young beaux do it
Even duchesses and their gigalos
have taken to it
Ain't it terrific? Ain't it the top?
You gotta dance right on till you drop
Ev'rybody's doing the Riviera
[there is an Encore here after a dance, but I don't have the lyrics to it- sorry!]
15. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE
I may be too old to run a mile
Run a mile?
Yes, run a mile
But there's one thing I still do very well
I may be too old to climb a stile
Climb a stile?
But there's one thing at which I still excel
Although my hair is turning grey
Yes, it's rather grey!
I still believe it when I say
Well, what do you say?
I'ts never too late to have a fling
For Autumn is just as nice as Spring
And it's never too late to fall in love
Boop-a-Doop, Boop-a-Doop, Boop-a-Doop
It's never too late to wink an eye
I'll do it until the day I die
And it's never too late to fall in love
Boop-a-Doop, Boop-a-Doop, Boop-a-Doop
If they say I'm too old for you
Then I shall answer "Why, sir,
One never drinks the wine that's new
The old wine tastes much nicer"
A gentleman never feels too weak
To pat a pink arm or pinch a cheek
And it's never too late to fall in love
Sez who? Sez me
Sez you? Sez we.
Sez both of us together
It's never too late to whisper words
Concerning the way of bees and birds
And it's never too late to fall in love
Whack-a-do, Whack-a-do, Whack-a-do
It's never too late to flirt and spoon
A fiddle that's old is more in tune
And it's never too late to fall in love
Whack-a-do, Whack-a-do, Whack-a-do
The modern artists of today
May paint their picture faster
But when it comes to skill, I say
You can't beat an old master
It's never too late to bill and coo
At any age one and one make two
And it's never too late to fall in
Never too late to fall in
Never too late to fall in
Love
It's never too late to blow a kiss
Especially at a time like this
And it's never too late to fall in love
Vo-de-o, Vo-de-o, Vo-de-o
It's never too late for fun and larks
A jolly old flame has lots of sparks
And it's never too late to fall in love
Vo-de-o, Vo-de-o, Vo-de-o
The modern buildings that you see
Are often most alarming
But I am sure that you'll agree
A ruin can be charming
It's never too late to be a beau
Experience counts a lot, you know
And it's never too late to fall in
Never too late to fall in
Never too late to fall in
Love
16. NEVER TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE (REPRISE)
Dulcie:
It's never too late to blow a kiss
especially in a time like this
Lord Brockhurst:
and it's never too late to fall in love
Dulcie:
Vo-de-o, vo-de-o, vo-de-o
Lord Brockhurst:
it's never too late too late for fun and larks
a jolly old flame has lots of sparks
Dulcie:
and it's never too late to fall in love
Lord Brockhurst:
Vo-de-o, vo-de-o, vo-de-o
Dulcie:
the modern buildings that you see
are often most alarming
Brockhurst:
but I am sure that you'll agree
Dulcie:
a ruin
Brockhurst:
can be charming
Dulcie:
it's never too late to be a beau
Brockhurst:
experiences count a lot you know
Both:
and it's never too late to fall in-
never to late to fall in-
never to late to fall in love
17. CARNIVAL TANGO
Cue:
Lady Brockhurst: How revolting!
(Instrumental)
18. POOR LITTLE PIERRETTE
There is an old French legend
That's set to an old French tune
It tells how Pierrot loved Pierrette
Under a Summer moon
Ev'ry night the lovers meet
Just as the clock strikes nine
Then he gives her kisses sweet
As vintage wine
But, alas, one fateful night
Pierrette is forsworn
There she stands forlorn
Till the cold grey dawn
Poor little Pierrette
Where's your Pierrot?
Why are you all alone?
You should be
So fancy-free
Your heart should be high
But instead
You hang your head
And try not to cry
Poor little Pierrette
You mustn't show
Your dream of love has flown
Just keep on dancing
Till the dawn, and then
He may come back again
Poor little Pierrette
Where's your Pierrot?
Why are you all alone?
Ah!!!!
You should be
So fancy-free
Your heart should be high
Ah!!!!
But instead
You hang your head
And try not to cry
Ah!!!!
Poor little Pierrette
You mustn't show
Your dream of love has flown
Ah!!!!
Just keep on dancing
Till the dawn, and then
He may come back again
19. FINALE
All:
We've got to have
We plot to have
for it's so dreary not to have
that certain thing called the Boyfriend
We scheme about
and dream about
and we've been known to scream about
that certain thing called the Boyfriend
Life without us is impossible
and devoid of all charms
No amount of idle gossip'll
keep them out of our arms
We're blue without
can't do without
our dreams just won't come true without
that certain thing called the Boyfriend
I could be happy with you
if you could be happy with me
I'd be contented to live anywhere
what would I care
as long as you were there?
Skies may not always be blue
but one thing is clear as can be
I know that I could be happy with you
My darling
If you could be happy with me,
with me